My wife and kids will tell you right away that I love to aggravate, pester, and annoy them. The more I care about someone, the more Iend to target them in this way. If I don’t like someone, I usually keep my distance and avoid talking to them. While many people might harass those they don’t care for, I don’t do that—it’s just not nice, and I can’t stand bullies. The biggest bully of all, though, is Satan. What people often don’t realize is that Satan can only affect you to the extent that you allow him to, much like Jesus.
I have a unique relationship with Satan—he knows me, and I know him, along with all his tricks. He tries to pick on me, but the more I grow in my faith, the less I “take the bait,” as my Brother Jeff Stultz, the Motorcycle Missionary, says. When I don’t take the bait, Satan is reminded that my Father—who was also his Father—defeated him once and for all, and He will continue to do so throughout eternity.
But it gets even better. Not only am I learning to resist Satan’s tricks, but the Lord has also granted me the authority to harass, annoy, pester, and assault him in return. Every day, my goal is to “bully” him. Every time I love on to my wife, it’s like flicking his ears. Every time I get another man to come to church or Men’s Alliance its a wicked ball tap to Satan. When I help someone embrace sobriety for even just one day, it’s like pulling his underwear over his head. Every time I’m there for my kids, offering them love and guidance so they don’t have to turn to the world, it’s like slapping Satan on top ofthe head with my class ring turned around.
The best defense is a great offense, and I’m not waiting for Satan to come after me—I’m chasing him down to make his life miserable. And it’s not just Satan I’m after, it’s all his agents of darkness. My Dad told me I have the freedom to do whatever I want to them, and while I’m keeping them busy fending off my harassment, they have less time to bother my wife, kids, family, and friends. The entire time I am laughing, pointing fingers, and generrally teasing Satan, becaue when your enemy is mad themy make mistakes and this an all out war.
This piece is dedicated to Jackie Quoss, who always said that when we get to heaven, we’ll find out that Satan is just a punk. I would say no Jackie, he is little bitch. You’re walking the streets of gold now, girl. I know when you met him up there, you kept the pimp hand strong and slappped his punk ass right f his bar stool. Love and miss you, Jack.
