A few weeks ago, I was asked to do the devotional at the Cowtown Men’s Alliance. One of the most quoted scriptures in men’s ministry is Proverbs 27:17— “Iron sharpens iron, as one man sharpens another.” I even have it tattooed on my right hand. But when I started researching it, I found surprisingly few sermons or teachings on the subject.
Not being the sharpest tool in the shed, I decided to teach on it using something that made sense to me—sharpening a blade. Maybe it’s because I’ve lost two close friends and my nephew to overdoses in the past few years, but I’m done with lukewarm men, half-hearted recovery programs, and Bible studies that lack real fellowship and relationship.
Jesus was all about relationships. He traveled, walked, slept, ate, fished, and lived life with the apostles. When you live life with someone, you truly know them—their moods, struggles, and weaknesses. It’s hard to hide who you really are on a road trip.
The reality is, most men don’t go to church. Those who do often only show up on Sundays for 60–90 minutes. They rush in with their families, exchange pleasantries, and head home. No real connection. Maybe that man was yelling at his wife and kids in the car before walking in. Maybe he was watching porn right before his wife told him it was time to leave. Maybe he had a gun in his mouth before she knocked on the door. But at church, he puts on a mask. And who wants to be the downer that brings up their struggles in a place where everyone else seems to have it all together?
The truth is, men hate showing weakness. We don’t want to admit our struggles, especially to people we only see once a week. So when someone asks, “How are you?” the answer is always “Fine.” No problems here. And most people take that at face value—because they don’t really want to deal with someone else’s mess.
The only reason I’m alive to write this is that there were men who didn’t accept “I’m fine” as an answer. They looked me in the eye and said, “Bullshit. What’s going on?” And I told them. That only happened because, years ago, at Freedom Biker Church in York, PA, I stopped hiding. I found men willing to get real, and my life began to change.
I couldn’t do it alone. My amazing wife of nearly 31 years, Lisa, couldn’t do it—because a lot of my struggles were tied to our marriage. I needed Jesus Christ and a few good men.
The problem with men’s ministry is that too often, there’s an unspoken price of admission—a certain level of Bible knowledge. But the men who need Jesus most might have only ever seen a Bible in a hotel nightstand. Nobody wants to look stupid.
And let’s be real—most men already know what their struggles are. What they don’t need is someone shining a spotlight on their failures before even learning their name.
When sharpening a blade, angle matters. Coming at someone at 90 degrees won’t sharpen—it dulls. That’s how too many Christians approach people who need saving. If a knife is covered in rust and grime, you don’t start with a sharpening stone. You clean it first. In life, that looks like buying someone a cup of coffee, sharing a meal, or giving them a ride.
Once the blade is exposed—once trust is built—you can start sharpening. But sometimes, the damage is deeper than just a dull edge. There might be chips and pitting in the steel. That’s when you need more than just a sharpener. You need a file. Maybe even a grinder. That’s where the men further along in their faith come in.
If someone trusts you, they’ll trust the people you trust. Before you know it, there’s a whole tribe working on that blade, each from a different angle. And when a man sees his life changing, he learns how to maintain that edge, so he never goes back to where he was. And if he does, he knows exactly who to call to get sharpened again.
Enough with the stained-glass masquerade. Don’t wait for someone to hand you their blade—lead by example and hand yours over first. Find a tribe. Stay in constant fellowship.
Iron sharpens iron—but only if we’re willing to do the work.
